Fainting Fun

Contrary to the title, fainting is not as fun as it looks in the movies. I should know, as for some reason I am incredibly prone to it at the moment. To set the scene I was at the gym one day working on my guns (which don’t actually exist but I can pretend) when I suddenly felt sick, and to cut a long story short collapsed into the arms of my trainer. I was out cold for 30 seconds, and to my disappointment did not have any epiphanies while I was unconscious. So then, I wondered, as my gollum-like body lay sprawled on the floor: why the balls did this happen? After doing some brief research I discovered that I am not intelligent enough to understand the logistics of blacking out, and I should therefore rely on illogical conclusions I have drawn out myself. 

So, getting out a pen and paper I began to jot down the possible reasons for my passing out. I eventually decided that I was either a) lovestruck b) allergic to exercise c) so skinny that I am sick. I eventually decided that the best option was to take myself to the doctor to get a check-up. The doctor concluded that nothing appeared to be wrong with me (apart from anxiety issues and crazy syndrome) but it would be best to get some blood tests done to look at the bigger picture. I must admit I am not the biggest fan of needles (understatement) but I duly hopped back into my little car and went to have some tests done.

The little asian nurse at the lab was the cutest thing ever, lets call her ‘Jenny’, and sat me down to have my blood taken out of me. I guess I began to freak out when my blood was purple but I am also a self -diagnosed colour blind citizen so I just put it down to my awful interpretation colours. As ‘Jenny’ drew the blood from my arm (which is about as thick as a walking stick) I stared hard at the weird pac man-like drawings on the wall. The pac man-like ‘things’ scowled at me and I was bought back to my time in Japan, but thats another post for another day. Anyway- back at the lab I began to sweat like crazy person (which I suppose I am) and my vision very quickly went blurry and weird. I told ‘Jenny’ that I was about to black out and she responded by crazily trying to lift me out of the chair I was on and onto the floor (‘Jenny’ is about as tall as a four year old and her attempts at moving me on her own accord were frivolous). I told ‘Jenny’ that I was perfectly fine to move myself to the floor, so I did so and she shoved a bin under my legs to get the blood flowing towards my heart. 

So I suppose ‘Jenny’ saved me from fainting and cracking my head open which is quite nice... I must admit that I hope this is the end of my fainting chronicles. Maybe it is a mind game I am playing with myself but I hope to say ‘Sayonara’ to these situations once and for all. Lets hope that when my purple blood samples come back they will be able to tell me something.. good things!

Ben :)